you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
