if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize