He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
