Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
