32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
