Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
