I could have mohawked her pubes.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
