im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
