I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
