its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
