Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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