I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
