I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
