i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
