I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
