i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
