I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
