If i could tip my vagina, i would.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
