The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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