i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
