Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
