I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
