Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
