Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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