Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
