I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
