I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
