Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
