so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
This baby is an asshole
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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