i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
