did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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