just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
tell me about the eggs
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
