ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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