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last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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