So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize