oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just want nice things and good sex
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
