Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Bring me that man meat
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
