she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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