Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
