ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
