no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
