I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
