Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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