you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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