worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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