I think my vagina is haunted
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize