My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
