The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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