I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Holy shit dude........stairs
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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