Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
