i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
