how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
