Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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