We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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