I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
