Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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