Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
