Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
