At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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