this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I think your dad took our porno
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
