I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
