I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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