im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
