Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
